


The Way You said I Love You

by KuraiTsuky



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU Captain Uchiha Obito, Akatsuki Hatake Kakashi, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dealing With Feelings Badly, First Kiss, Grief/Mourning, M/M, True Love, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:12:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuraiTsuky/pseuds/KuraiTsuky
Summary: Kakashi is gone and Obito is left behind trying to put the pieces back together.Reverse AU





	The Way You said I Love You

They say the dead return tonight, but you are not here. Is my dwelling truly a house without spirit?  
Goshuui Wakashuu 10.575

 

The dead do return, but not home.

 

Obito grows fast these days, all dressed in black and with his sharingan constantly activated he cuts an impressive figure. A year and a half back, when he was still a scrawny child and he first dressed in dark clothes, people laughed and dismissed him as always. Nowadays though, civilians and shinobi alike move out of his way when he passes by and no one even dares comment how out of character his new outfit seems. Because it no longer is.

He’s fifteen and is starting to fill up, his shoulders broadening and his limbs bulking up with muscle. Little is left of the boy from two years past. His hair, long and untamed, falls over his eyes, partially hiding away the redness not all due to his kekkei genkai. He sometimes wishes he could just cover his face but every time he passes by the mask section at any given clothes shop, his heart aches and his eyes look just a little redder.

Obito doesn’t cry though, he feels all the pain but the tears just don’t come. Half a year ago he cried his soul out and he sometimes thinks that maybe, he doesn’t have tears left. Sometimes he’d give anything to be the crybaby everyone laughed at again. He wasn’t happy then, but now he doesn’t even feel alive. One mission after another, jumping through shadows and darkness. His life is now measured by the kills he makes, the lights he extinguishes.

Sometimes he wonders if this is the person he was supposed to be, if this is what a shinobi must be. Sometimes he’d rather not think about it least he breaks beyond repair.

The Uchiha Complex is silent by the time he returns, it looks weary and worn when Obito jumps above the roofs to get to his empty apartment as soon as possible. There is not an ounce of respect in his behavior, even now, there isn’t any lost love between him and the clan. He is a man of the Hokage, and they know it. His sensei looks weary too, older than he should, a twisted part of Obito, less tiny than he’d like to admit, is glad that there is someone else that resents this cruel reality, just like him.

Afterwards, he feels guilty for thinking so when Minato tells him Kushina is pregnant. Although he feels even guiltier when he has to fake a smile. Maybe he’s lost the ability to smile too. He asks him to be the baby’s caretaker if anything should happen to them and Obito wants to scream.

Why doesn’t Minato –sensei see that he’s worthless at protecting anyone? He’d better stay away from him, or her, Obito can’t deal with more beloved blood on his hands.

At night, Obito drinks and tries to cope. It’s not his normal behavior, usually he tries to cope without alcohol, as he doesn’t quite tolerate it, but today is _that_ day and if he doesn’t drink until he loses his consciousness, he’s going to lose his mind instead. After a while, Obito struggles to reach his bed as the room keeps spinning around him. Later, when he’s falling asleep, he thinks he sees a slice of silver by the window and that one black eye he knows so well, but his eyes close so fast he can’t confront the image. Truthfully he didn’t want to do it.

He wakes up at some point in the morning; he’s not sure about the time other than the sun is high in the sky. Obito tries to get up a couple of times but gets tangled in the sheets and falls face first on the floor before finally being able to stand. He walks with wobbly legs towards the window, shuts the blinds and goes back to bed.

Obito wakes up again to a raging banging on his door, still hangover, it takes him some time to realize where he is and what the hell is going on. ‘Get a grip’ he tells himself, and after a few moments, he’s manages to drag his feet towards whoever is trying to break down his door.

It shouldn’t surprise him that it is Kushina the one standing on the entrance way. Or that she looks pissed as hell. For a moment, he thinks she’s going to strike him, but then she sees his face and her scowl relents. That doesn’t stop the redhead from dragging him from his house to hers. But having much more tact than people give her credit for, she doesn’t say anything.

They eat in silence, the soon to be four of them.

It’s an awkward silence and both Minato and Obito avoid making eye contact. The brunet can almost taste the guilt rather than the flavor of his food.

Later, when he’s paid his respects and declined, as kindly as he could, Kushina’s offers to stay with them, Obito drags his feet back to the cold, empty apartment hoping that tonight he will finally achieve a dreamless sleep.

His life goes by like that, a bleak, hopeless reality of missions, of duties he’d rather not have, to honor a boy he never liked until it was far too late. He’d laugh at the irony, but much like the tears, he has lost all his ability to do so.

 

He’s in a mission in Ame, years later, when his life seems to start anew.

 

Obito feels the porcelain mask breaking under the force of the impact. The white shards slowly fall from his face only to turn to dust as they hit the ground. He would have preferred his mask to be orange, still his favorite color, but he put those wants aside with many others a long time ago. They were the desires of the old Obito, the careless dead last, and he isn’t that person anymore. Not since that day Kannabi bridge fell.

He’s an ANBU captain now, serious and rule abiding; he hopes Kakashi would be proud.

The mask falls off completely and he can feel a surge of chakra coming from the edge of the trees where the rest of his asshole enemies wait.

That chakra… it can’t be. In awe and feeling that meaningless hope filling him again after so long, Obito looks at the tall man that jumps form a branch and slowly walks up to him. As he walks, he takes off what looks like a dog mask with bright red markings.

Obito’s breath catches in his throat and he barely notices his sword slipping through his fingers. He vaguely hears the sound of metal clashing with the cold hard ground, but he honestly doesn’t care. Obito walks numbly while examining everything in his line of sight in search of misplacement, a clue of foul play, much like the man. A man yes, not the boy he last saw, who has grown way past him and now seems to be fighting a terrible battle with himself. The air around him cracks with electricity, much like that black eye he knows so well.

The right side of his face is covered, both by the mask that’s been pushed up a bit too much and the bandana with the scratched Konoha symbol that’s been pulled down past his forehead. But his gravity defying silver hair and the tense expression in his muscles are the same, though carried with seemingly more comfort.

Obito had lost himself so much in thought he didn’t realized they reached one another.

“Ka…Kakashi” he tries, his voice breaking.

“Obito” Kakashi pronounces his name like a prayer.

They whisper at the same time, wonder and pain lacing their voices.

“I thought you were dead”

Their words synchronize again, even after so long they are in harmony, like during that hour when they both thought they could be more than childhood rivals. Rough calluses slid over his face. Obito doesn’t care, his own find their way to the mask. A thousand questions linger in his head but instead of asking them, Obito stands on his toes and holds onto his former teammate, afraid perhaps of him disappearing, of the man in front of him being no more than one of his delusions. But in his arms, the presence of Kakashi is warm and solid and Obito finds himself crying for the first time since that day.

“I thought I’d lost you” he whispers against one broad shoulder, Kakashi doesn’t answer but holds him back and buries his nose in his hair.

They move after a few minutes, eyes still searching, still looking, not suspicious this time but marveled. Around them their surroundings stay silent. Obito’s other hand finds the mask then, mimicking its counterpart.

He then violently yanks it down and pushing himself further up, unites his lips to Kakashi’s. Kakashi holds him so he won’t slip and puts his heart on the kiss he thought he’d never get. Obito smiles as they separate, something easing in his heart at last. He doesn't break the hold and lays his head on Kakashi's shoulder instead, he feels more at home like this than he's done in a long, long time. 


End file.
